Being a Dad takes Guts

Time to hype the safety benefits of using a neck wallet.

There are pickpockets in every city on Earth who prey on tourists, so it's easier to keep your money and documents safe by tucking them in a neck wallet. You don't have to be armed or learn self-defense or anything crazy. Just make it a little difficult for the would-be criminals, and they'll let you go and look for an easier mark. A neck wallet is just the thing.



Crazy Dad has used a neck wallet similar to this and it's worked out well. The neck wallet is generally pretty comfortable and worry-free.

It used to be there were four members of the Crazy family, and Crazy Dad carried the passports and tickets for all four members. No problem. They were kept safe and sound in the neck wallet around Crazy Dad's neck.

But two things have happened recently.

1. The Crazy family added a fifth member. A new child with their own passport, and-

2. The United States transitioned to their brand new passports. These next-generation passports have smart chips in them - so the passport is much thicker, heavier, and rigid.

But on the most recent trip, Crazy Dad thought it'd be no big deal. Not like going from four to five would make a big difference on his neck.

He was wrong.

One day into the trip, Crazy Dad could feel this literal millstone hanging around his neck the entire time. It wasn't just a fifth passport - it was having to carry a fifth set of papers, plane tickets, travel documentation, train tickets.

All hanging from Crazy Dad's neck.

And that wasn't really the worst part. The worst part was what it did to Crazy Dad's self-esteem.



CHECK OUT THAT GUT. Only it's not a beer gut. It's a fake flab of fat created by a thick, brick-like neck wallet. Crazy Dad is self-conscious enough about his dainty figure without seeing pictures of himself looking like he swallowed some enormous novelty Lego brick.

And it's only going to get worse. While the adult passports don't expire for a while, kids' passports expire every five years. So soon the family will be saddled with three of those thick 'War and Peace'-style passports.

So lesson learned. Neck wallets are cheap, so Crazy Dad is buying a second one for only-married-into-Crazy Mom to carry. Time to share the gut.

No guts, no glory.

Stuff I didn't know existed - AAA Exchange

Go figure. Learn something new everyday.

The Automobile Club (AAA) has reciprocity with international driving associations. So if you're a member and get in car trouble overseas, you can get services extended to you for free or at discount.

Check out their list at aaapublicaffairs.com.

Kids Fares on Public Transportation in Europe

Some data that Crazy Dad culled from the internet. This is just a summary of what he found - please confirm for yourself before you step on that bus or train. You don't want your vacation experience to be colored with, "So then I had to pay an exorbitant fine..."

No guarantees are made to its accuracy. Translation - don't waste your time trying to sue Crazy Dad. He'll just plead not guilty by reason of insanity.

Hope this helps!

***

AUSTRIA

Vienna - U-Bahn, Buses, Tram

-Kids 5 and under free.
-Kids 14 and under free on Sundays, public holidays, and school holidays.

Checked May-2009

***

CZECH REPUBLIC

Prague - Metro, Trams, Buses

-Kids tickets 6-15.
-Kids 5 and under free.

Checked May-2009

***

FINLAND

Helsinki - Tram and Metro

-Kids tickets 7-16.
-Kids 6 and under free.
-NOTE: An Adult traveling with a kid 6 and under riding in a pram / carriage / stroller also rides free (except on U-lines).

Checked May-2009

***

FRANCE

Paris - Metro / RER / RATP

-Kids 4-9 half-price
-Kids 3 and under free

Checked May-2009

***

GERMANY

Berlin - U-Bahn, S-Bahn, Buses, and Trams

-Reduced fare tickets for kids 6-14
-Kids 5 and under free

Checked June-2009


Dresden - S-Bahn

-Kids tickets 6-14.
-Kids 5 and under free.

Checked May-2009

***

HUNGARY

Budapest - Metro/Trams/Trolleybuses/Underground/Buses

-Kids 5 and under free

Checked May-2009

***

POLAND

Krakow - Buses/Trams

-Reduced fares for "Students and school-children"
-Family Tickets available on Saturday and Sundays

Checked May-2009

***

RUSSIA

Moscow - Metro

-Kids 6 and under ride free.

Checked May-2009


St. Petersburg - Metro

-One kid 6 and under rides free, when accompanied by paying adult.

Checked May-2009

***

SLOVAKIA

Bratislava - Buses/Trams

-Kids 5 and under ride free.
-Reduced Fares for kids 6-15.

Checked May-2009

***

UKRAINE

Kyiv - Metro

-Kids 6 and under ride free.

Checked May-2009


Kyiv - Buses and Trolleybuses

-"One child of preschool age, without giving it a separate place"

Checked May-2009


Lviv - Tramway

-"Pupils and Students" fare half-price

Checked May-2009

***

UNITED KINGDOM

London - Buses and Trams

-Kids 10 and under ride free.
-Kids 11-15 can get child-rate Day Travelcards - otherwise pays adult fare.


London - Tube, DLR, and London Overground

-Kids 10 and under ride free when accompanied by an adult.
-Kids tickets 11-15.

Checked May-2009

Being a Dad can keep you out of trouble

Before dragging his family to a new exotic country, Crazy Dad likes to do a little bit of reading on crime and safety issues. Not likely that Crazy Dad will put his family in a dangerous situation, but he has to do his due diligence.

There's nothing quite as shocking as flipping through a Lonely Planet guidebook and finding the words "be aware of Death Squads".

But for this upcoming trip, Crazy Dad is visiting a country that has some standard warnings about crime and safety issues. The warnings always are downplayed with the caveat, "Just use common sense."

Here's the problem. Common sense? Common sense tells us not to spend money we don't have. Common sense tells us not to talk on the cell phone while driving. Common sense tells us that God doesn't speak to us through divine appearances in Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.

Common sense? Crazy Dad needs more specifics. What kind of things might get him into trouble? So he did some research online and found these recommendations for avoiding crime and staying safe in this particular country-

-Do not get intoxicated. Criminals prey on drunk tourists.
-Do not stay out past midnight in non-touristy, unfamiliar neighborhoods.
-Do not get into confrontations or fist-fights.
-Do not antagonize or acknowledge skinheads, gang members, or hooligans.
-Do not enter seedy out-of-the-way bars - most are run by organized crime.
-Do not enter casinos - most are run by organized crime.
-Do not enter strip clubs. They have hidden surcharges and fees are forcibly enforced by violent bouncers.
-Do not accept propositions from attractive young women. Men are sometimes taken back to hotel rooms, drugged, and robbed.
-Do not agree to drinks or meals with attractive young women. Women receive commissions from restaurants and bars to lure men to their establishments.
-Do not get involved with prostitutes. This country has one of the highest rates of HIV in the world.
-Do not buy or inquire about drugs. Despite what you may hear, they are illegal and you will face a possible 5-10 years in prison.

Now that's better. This list clarifies what kind of things will keep Crazy Dad safe. Simply put-

All those things you could do before you got married? Don't do them while on vacation.

Seriously. Being a dad with kids makes it easier to stay out of trouble. Before he got married and had children, he might be tempted by a few of those things on that list. I mean, what guy doesn't sometimes feel the longing to antagonize hooligans and skin-heads?

But now? The only thing that Crazy Dad is considering right now is a Grilled Cheese Sandwich.

Stay safe out there.

Gravy is not Soup

I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Enjoy 20 ridiculous complaints made by holidaymakers.

Crazy plans in the works

Apologies for the blog silence. Crazy Dad is, if not incredibly crazy, incredibly lazy.

In the meantime, Crazy Dad is lining up a nice summer vacation for the family. The eldest two kids are excited, the toddler is blissfully oblivious that she's about to do some serious international travelling.

In addition to quality time with the kids, it means more time to try out some of Crazy Dad's newest family travel gadgets and practices. Reminder - research research research. A little bit of reading now can potentially save many tears later.

And of course, his summer travel is made possible by another great home exchange. Another interesting destination that he never would've thought of if it hadn't popped up in front of him through the home exchange listings.

Crazy Dad will share more about his summer plans as it gets closer. In the meantime, he's got some laziness to get to.

If he feels like getting around to it...

My Fair Lap Baby

There are some strange conclusions being drawn about lap babies after the recent U.S. Airways flight 1549 that landed in the Hudson River. Check this stuff out-

From Car Seat Blog-

Yes, I know lap babies are technically “allowed” but that in itself doesn’t make it a good idea. In some states you’re technically “allowed” to marry your first cousin. That doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, know what I mean?

From the L.A. Times Travel Blog-

However many kids you have, you know you’d lay down your life for any one of them. For your toddler, that also may mean laying down your credit card for another seat — just to be safe. In the end, a temporary ouch is always better than an unending heartache.

"Marry your first cousin?" "Unending heartache?"

Wow. Just... wow.

I'm going to apparently be really controversial here by sticking to facts and statistics. No fear. No paranoia. No guilt.

Here goes-

The odds of your unrestrained baby being injured in a car crash are extremely high - high enough that car seats are mandatory.

The odds of your unrestrained baby being injured in a plane crash are extremely LOW. Highly unlikely. The odds of a slow-speed plane crash where a baby having their own seat prevents injury? Even more unlikely.

U.S. Airways flight 1549 that landed in the Hudson River? There was a 9 month-old lap baby on-board who was perfectly fine.

As for turbulence, there's always someone who swears they knew someone who knew someone who knew a flight attendant who saw a child hurt by turbulence or loss of cabin pressure. But I've looked for some real statistics on this and couldn't find any. Google the term "baby injured by turbulence" and I could only find two incidents in the past TWENTY YEARS.

At least one European air-carrier won't even ALLOW you purchase a seat for any child under 2 years-old. They insist the child ride in your lap.

If you can, buying a seat for your baby and installing your car seat in the plane is a great thing. But the reason to do so is not fear. Your child is already used to sitting for a long time in their car seat, so sitting in their familiar car seat can help calm the child and keep them from wanting to run around and annoy the other passengers on the plane.

There's certainly nothing wrong with buying your infant a seat if it buys a parent peace of mind and the family can handle the additional cost. But when looking at safety, it is always better to look at real world statistic and actual dangers - not worse-case scenario fear and paranoia.

Instead of being guilted into buying an extra plane ticket, most parents would be better off taking the child's plane ticket money and putting it in a 529 savings plan for their college fund.